They don’t make monster movies like The Relic anymore, especially with Hollywood’s recent preoccupation with Asian ghost story remakes. With creepy settings, first-rate gore, a strong female lead character (Aliens is owed credit for creating the model for every tough-as-nails female character fighting off alien infestations) and chiefly practical monster effects, it follow many of the guidelines for classically entertaining horror films without skirting into the realm of grossly unbelievable or downright cheesy. The Kothoga creature itself is fairly unique, although its success lies in the way in which it’s portrayed. At least everyone in the film takes the situation seriously, which is always appreciated when it comes to over-the-top fantasy.

Anthropologist John Whitney’s jungle expedition, funded by the Natural History Museum in Chicago, Illinois, results in two large crates being shipped to evolutionary biologist Dr. Margo Green (Penelope Ann Miller). Whitney was studying South American Indian tribes thought to be extinct, and one of the boxes contains a chimera relic, while the other is empty.  These mysterious containers could be related to a purported drug hit a few weeks earlier on the Brazilian ship Santos Morales; the aftermath and investigation is being headed by Lieutenant Vincent D’Agosta (Tom Sizemore), a superstitious man seemingly more interested in the recent loss of custody over his dog. When a night watchman at the museum is murdered, decapitated and debrained, everyone is thrown into a panic – even Margo momentarily loses concentration on the career-saving grant she’s desperately competing for. The killing makes Dahmer look like a Cub Scout. As Margo begins research on an egglike parasitic fungus found in the crate, D’Agosta discovers a pattern between the dead bodies found on the ship and the body of the guard – all of the victims are missing the hypothalamus portion of the brain. Could this be the work of something not entirely human?

The sets and locations, consisting of long, endless tunnels, humid basements with dripping walls, crowded display rooms, and cramped storage areas, are perfect for a horror film, coupled with superb lighting, complete with blinking red warning sirens, flickering bathrooms, dim hall lights, and plenty of quivering flashlights dancing across blood-splattered corridors (some audiences complain about the frequent lightlessness, which can be appreciated in a theater but suffers in daylight). The addition of a berserk sprinkler system and an emergency backup system is the icing on the cake. An extravagant celebration gala for the opening of a new “Superstition” exhibition sets the stage for death and mayhem once the chameleonic creature finally makes an appearance.

The Relic features the very best ingredients of contemporary monster movie formulas: loud noises, dark places, isolated characters, sudden images of bloody body parts and red herrings.  It’s careful to show only pieces of the monster at a time, plenty of foreshadowing (including the slow cleaning of the Brazilian artifact, unnervingly revealing it’s monstrous reptilian design), and panicked mob mentality with a group of survivors (like The Poseidon Adventure) with varying attitudes and levels of bravery struggling to move from one location to another. The characters continually get split up and people are intent on sneaking up on everyone else. There’s also plenty of gore, as the monster’s favorite method of mutilation is swift beheadings. Although Sizemore and Miller are rarely leading stars, their acting never interferes with the intensity of the violence and suspense. And with the legendary Stan Winston behind the monster effects, The Relic is a surprisingly sharp creature feature.

- Mike Massie

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