Welcome to the old western town of Oblivion, population 539. 538 if you were counting the little Muppet-like bat creature perched on the sign at the city limits, torn to shreds by a mysterious alien stranger strolling into town with boots covered in large scales, gloved hands, and draped in a flowing leather cape. This little place, set in the year 3031 according to the poster, also houses a tall, black-garbed, pasty undertaker with a towering top hat (symbolizing death), a sarcastic marshal (or “marshall” as it’s oddly misspelled on the badge), conjoined twin one-eyed gamblers, a whip-wielding dominatrix called Lash (Musetta Vander), a booze-loving Doc Valentine (George Takei) and a leopard print-covered bar woman named Miss Kitty (Julie Newmar).

The hero is cowardly, peace-loving cowboy prospector Zack Stone (Richard Joseph Paul), the son of the recently murdered sheriff, who teams up with the wise but revenge-driven Indian loner Buteo (Jimmie Skaggs) in the hunt for the precious mineral Dirconium, with the power to… well, it isn’t really defined. They’re also out for vengeance against a vicious alien, the reptilian Redeye (Andrew Divoff), a merciless killer that wishes to take over the whole town. He’s guarded by colorful henchmen and doesn’t mind tearing up Oblivion to demonstrate his power. Zack must also join forces with Deputy Stell Barr (Meg Foster), a tough-as-nails blue-eyed cyborg, Miss Mattie Chase (Jackie Swanson), the damsel in distress who runs the local department store, and the tipsy doctor Valentine, if he hopes to make it out alive.

Based on an original story idea by Charles Band (which usually means trouble), Oblivion is now a curiously interesting film to review, with the 2011 release of Jon Favreau’s Cowboys and Aliens on the horizon, a mix that rarely appears in the movies (plus, Disney is in the works to release a new, unrelated science-fiction film called Oblivion, to be directed by Joseph Kosinki). Unfortunately, Oblivion chooses to be more comedic than serious, leading to a tongue-in-cheek, goofy approach to the action, the characters and the plot. Takei makes bad Star Trek jokes while grossly overacting, Zack cries like a girl, a bargirl with a skirt made of bananas frequents the background, and a bingo game takes place simultaneously with a somber funeral. An arm-wrestling match in front of a jolly green frog creature and a slow-motion showdown in a crowded saloon are the heights of the action, while Zack spends the majority of the movie leisurely chatting with the Doc, nagging Buteo or whining to Mattie.

The character designs are humorously fun, adding alien gunslingers, leather and lace, dusty cowboys, freakish mutants, a Zorro-like bullfighter, a stereotypical Indian, stop-motion monsters, gothic attire, a Davy Crockett rip-off and grungy cowpoke getups to a film that already crosses many genres. Outside of the visuals, Oblivion is a series of ideas that could have been enjoyable if they weren’t executed so poorly. The lack of seriousness, the pitiful humor, the bad acting, the hokey dialogue and the bizarre characters all contribute to the low quality, but it’s ultimately the direction that ruins the plot. This story could have been something more if not approached so jokily. Even the budget isn’t noticeably small – except for the giant night scorpions. Perhaps most baffling of all is the conclusion, which does not end in a cliffhanger at all, and yet has the nerve to print “To Be Continued” on the screen. And sure enough, Backlash: Oblivion 2 was released straight to video two years later, using a nearly identical cast.

- Mike Massie

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