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Has writer/director
Carol Frank ever seen a slasher film? While a few brief moments
appear to have a small amount of thought behind them, the majority
of Sorority House Massacre excruciatingly steals elements from previous,
more successful and more innovative horror movies. With an agonizingly
lame and unoriginal conclusion in which everyone repeatedly turns
their backs to the murderer, an excessive amount of flashbacks and
not enough nudity to be exploitive, but just enough to be pointless,
this lifeless girls-in-lingerie massacre movie doesn’t offer
an ounce of unconventionality to the tired subgenre.
Shattered glass, bleeding ceilings, lifelike mannequins, and
a raving lunatic with a giant hunting knife. These are just a
few of the horrific images that plague young Beth’s (Angela
O’Neill) dreams. After her aunt’s death, she moves
into the Theta Omega Theta house and attempts to adjust to college
life. But her terrifying dreams continue to grow more vivid, and
as her sorority sisters are slowly murdered one by one, it’s
apparent her nightmares have only just begun. |
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Moments when the boyfriends
sneak up on the girls provide the most number of surprises early
on, while the halfhearted butchering itself never presents a genuine
scare. The killer chooses a simple knife – no extravagant
morbidity there, no signature tool of slaughter. Why does the killer
always have to walk so slowly? Doesn’t he have people to kill
and places to go? And why does he have to be a textbook mental patient?
It’s the same plot as Halloween and every substandard horror
derivation since, with the tormented dreams of A Nightmare on Elm
Street. It’s especially straining that the story is so familiar,
considering that while Beth is deciphering her psychic abilities,
we’re forced to watch the same story twice, once in flashback,
and again as the killer is recreating his original massacre.
When Larry the mental hospital orderly (a bit part by Robert Axelrod) proves to be the best actor of the bunch, your film has problems. The girls’ small talk is annoyingly flimsy, but not nearly as bad as a poorly inserted 80’s fashion show montage in which three girls gleefully try on dozens of outfits, complete with upbeat music and extraneous nudity. That sequence couldn’t possibly have been more out of place or less realistic. “It is just a dream. There’s nothing to be afraid of,” insists one of the girls. The dream sequences are a bit overbearing, constantly creating fake scares and eating up the majority of the screen time – apparently actually offing hordes of sorority gals isn’t as worthwhile. Fortunately the dreams are creepier than the reality, but they’re juxtaposed confusingly frequently. Beth’s clairvoyance mixes with flashbacks and slow-motion nightmares to create an eerie atmosphere and a muddling introduction to her troubled past. Too bad the entire film is actually a feature-length flashback. And too bad the few moments when the film takes itself seriously are dwarfed by unabashed nudity and frightfully bad dialogue. - The Massie Twins
Click HERE to read the Review of The House on Sorority Row Click HERE to read the Review of Sorority House Massacre Click HERE to read the Review of Sorority House Massacre II Click HERE to read the Review of Sorority House Massacre III (Hard to Die) Click HERE to read the Review of Sorority Row (2009) Click HERE to read the EXCLUSIVE Interview with Leah Pipes, star of Sorority Row (2009)
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