From the very opening scene it’s apparent that the magic that once coursed through the veins of the original Pirates of the Caribbean has all but run dry. The long-awaited reunion with everyone’s favorite scoundrel pirate lacks the humor that should have permeated the entire affair, and such lusterless exploits continue throughout the rest of the film. The romance between Captain Jack Sparrow and newcomer Angelica should have provided a prominent and consistently witty repartee, but instead manages only a few fleeting moments of amusement. The supporting characters could have presented more hilarity in their preposterous predicaments or at least offered validation for their inclusion in the adventure, but fall short in both aspects. And the villainous Blackbeard definitely should have embodied the dastardly and menacing persona expected of the legendary pirate. Perhaps Sparrow works best in tandem with strong-willed heroes rather than alone with only Barbossa’s wily antics to aid him.

When word reaches King George that Spain has begun a quest to locate the Fountain of Youth, he hires pirate-turned-privateer Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) to find it first – with the help of Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) who happens to possess the map to the long lost treasure. When Sparrow refuses, he escapes the King’s grasp only to find himself shanghaied aboard the supernaturally-powered ship of notorious pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane), who seeks the life-giving waters to thwart his own fatal date with destiny. As Sparrow attempts to outwit his captors and his pursuers, he must battle vicious mermaids, nefarious pirates, and the deceptive wiles of his former lover Angelica (Penelope Cruz).

The fourth Pirates of the Caribbean film is very similar to the fourth Indiana Jones outing – it’s fun to see the characters return for a new feature, especially when they remain visually faithful and are scripted with the same sharp wit and idiosyncratic catch phrases. The problem is the story; it’s as if the filmmakers have run out of adventures to tell with these particular heroes. Jack Sparrow should be able to suffice as the lead protagonist, but simply doesn’t have enough emotional involvement with any of the plethora of supporting roles. He has a love interest now, plus new villains and the return of several familiar faces. But despite the nearly nonstop action sequences, he never interacts with the characters around him in a manner that begets investment in his plights, misadventures or successes. It’s hard to care about someone whose perils are approached with such a lack of seriousness.

Most of the film is so dark and shadowy that the 3D is completely lost, along with the specific details of sets and fight choreography – which is further obscured by rapid cuts. The stunts and chases are still overly complex, harkening back to the second film’s attention to purely ridiculous yet uncannily diverting action scenes that bridge moments of verbal storytelling. Here, it’s even more of a reach. Part of the problem is that it is repetitious to see yet another swordfight in the rafters of a wooden dwelling or melees with royal guards or a showdown with a towering warrior.

As the second Transformers movie proved so painfully, once the initial excitement of witnessing a unique cinematic event is gone – in Transformers, the robots metamorphosing; in Pirates of the Caribbean, all sorts of legendary acts of pirating – we’re left with a dreary, dull bit of recycled material. A completely extraneous subplot with a nameless preacher and a nameless mermaid tacks onto the already lengthy running time, along with Spanish soldiers that barely present a predicament and the intricate, on-the-spot rituals necessary to unearth Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth. At least the unforgettable, catchy theme music returns in full force.

- The Massie Twins (4/10)

 

 

2nd Opinion:

Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio are amazing men. Their screenplays can confuse audiences just as easily as they can entertain. “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” the fourth film in the hugely successfully Disney/Jerry Bruckheimer franchise and the first to be released in 3D, is exuberant fun – and damn near impossible to keep track of. Some of the blame rests on the character of Captain Jack Sparrow, a man known for his lies, trickery, and instinct for self promotion; it has now come to the point that I can no longer distinguish between truth and deception, which is to say it has become exhausting trying to figure him out. But God help me, he’s still one of the best pirate characters ever created, in large part because of the actor who plays him, Johnny Depp. After eight years and four films, Jack remains as magnetic as he ever was. Believe you me, that’s no small task.

The rest of the blame lies with Jack’s old flame, Angelica (Penelope Cruz), a new character replacing both Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, their story having ended with the previous film. With her, there’s absolutely no knowing where reality ends and the façade begins. Her entire existence depends on spinning a web of lies, all in an attempt to beat Jack at his own game. When she’s introduced, she’s disguised as Jack, and she takes great pleasure in engaging him in a beautifully choreographed sword fight; as the film progresses, they engage in conversational ping pong matches, some clever and well-mannered, others desperate attempts at one-upsmanship. She complicates matters further by revealing things about herself that may or may not be true.

In the film, Jack and Angelica find themselves at sea with the notorious pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane), who must find and drink from the fabled Fountain of Youth to counteract his own prophesied death. Angelica, for reasons known only to her, is determined to make sure Blackbeard succeeds, for it will mean saving his soul. In hot pursuit is Jack’s former nemesis, Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), who, after having lost his leg and the famous “Black Pearl,” seems to have traded in a life of piracy for a career with the British navy. As he sets sail, he notices a small fleet of Spanish ships ... and wouldn’t you know it, they too are in search of the Fountain of Youth. Its restorative powers take effect under a confusing set of rules, including having to draw forth man-eating mermaids, capture one, and extract from her a single tear. This factors into an unnecessary and unresolved subplot involving a Christian missionary (Sam Claflin) and a mermaid named Syrena (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey), who he has fallen in love with.

   

   

As needlessly convoluted as the plot is, the film is still terrific entertainment, largely because of the amazing set designs, the dazzling special effects, the gravity-defying action, and the humorous characters. Taking the directorial reins from Gore Verbinski – whose commitments to “Rango” prevented him from participating – is Rob Marshall, the Broadway choreographer known primarily for his film adaptations of musical plays (the Oscar-winning “Chicago” and the tragically underrated “Nine”). You’d think this would make him an odd choice for this kind of film. After all, how do you transition from staged song-and-dance spectacles to an action/adventure/supernatural period film? It’s surprisingly seamless. Action, like dancing, is choreographed, and choreography requires an understanding of movement – an understanding Marshall clearly has.

The “Pirates” films have always had interesting villains, probably because most of them are directly involved with the supernatural. “On Stranger Tides” is no exception. Blackbeard, in all physical respects a human being, is in possession of a magical sword; with the slightest touch of the hilt, he can make the cordage of his ship slither like snakes, tie sailors up, and suspend them from the rigging. He can also shoot gigantic fireballs from the bow section; how they’re generated is left to the imagination. He even has access to a voodoo doll that bears a striking resemblance to Jack.

The film features much of your usual pirate fare, including exotic jungle locations, drunken sailors, mutiny plots, treasure hunts, and dank caves littered with bones. No cannonball fights at sea, though. Then again, it would be pretty hard to beat the original film’s battle sequence, in which not just cannonballs but also candelabras and forks were fired at the “Black Pearl.” Visually, “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” has all the right ingredients (most of them are not enhanced by the 3D process, but that comes as no surprise to me). What’s missing is a plot that doesn’t require note-taking. Blink your eyes, turn your head for just one second, and you’re likely to miss something important. I also would have appreciated more honest and reliable lead characters. When you’re unsure about who they are and what they stand for even after two and a half hours, something isn’t quite right.

- Chris Pandolfi (7/10)

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