RED is highly derivative of just about every mindless action film of late, proudly showcasing senseless violence, laughable amounts of destruction (there’s nothing quite like the sight and sound of a house being ripped apart by impressively relentless machinegun fire), enormous explosions, slow-motion showdowns, comic-relief characters, witty one-liner dialogue, and a plot involving backstabbing and betrayal. Like True Lies, Sarah desperately wants adventure out of her boring existence, and Frank is happy to oblige. Like The A-Team, a foursome of professional killers assembles to pull off the most ridiculous missions and waltz about with an undeniable air of invincibility. Like Shoot ‘Em Up, there’s a focus on action for action’s sake and copious amounts of bullets whizzing everywhere. Like Salt, Frank is able to rapidly construct makeshift chemical bombs and escape inescapable, highly guarded strongholds. And like Knight and Day, the characters are all larger-than-life, capable of surviving, infiltrating, impersonating, reconnoitering, disrupting and executing every task in top secret assassination plans, all with charm, a smile and a bit of romance.
It’s like something out of a cheesy romance novel – very silly, but easy to get carried away with in the moment. In fact, the movie tries to model itself on just such a notion, using animated title cards to introduce the frequent changes in scenery and locations. The characters are astonishingly unrealistic, high on the adrenaline of shooting and killing, like the audience should be when escaping to a light-hearted action-heavy movie such as RED. Too bad the acclaimed cast appears to be having all the fun. Malkovich easily has the most hysterical role, stealing scenes left and right, which helps to divert attention from the dreadful cover-up plot, the afterthought romance involving Victoria, Parker’s inability to convey any sort of believable reaction, and questions of probability – such as how a monstrous cannon on a tripod can be set up in the parking garage where the Vice President is campaigning, without attracting any attention by the hundreds of security team members scurrying about.
- The Massie Twins
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I'd watch anything with Helen Mirren in it.