One of the most visually impressive and action-packed films of the summer, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is also one of the most lifeless. Proving once again that special effects can't make up for a ridiculous story and ludicrous characters, Tim Story's highly anticipated blockbuster sequel fails to be even as entertaining as the original - which means it shouldn't have been made.

On the brink of the 4th time Reed Richards, aka Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) and Sue Storm, aka The Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba) are attempting to get married, a cosmic disturbance causes satellites and tracking systems to go haywire. A mysterious silver humanoid alien has come to Earth to see its destruction at the hands of its master, Galactus, an all-powerful planet-consuming monstrosity (of curiously cloudy special effects). As the military attempts to recruit the Fantastic Four to aid them in capturing the Silver Surfer (Doug Jones), Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) makes a reappearance to suspiciously aid the foursome in saving the world. But allegiances and partnerships are put in check as the pressures surmount for our heroes as well as the super-powerful Surfer, who may end up being the key to preventing the fall of humanity.

Starting up with the usual overwhelming amount of comedy and jokes, the story quickly progresses as the hilariously bizarre Silver Surfer makes an appearance to crash the media-crazed wedding of Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman. Everything happens fast in this film, which is understandable considering its 92-minute running time. The group is charged with building complex devices to track the dangerous silver alien, and they have them completely ready to go by the next scene. They jump from location to location in the blink of an eye. And once again the technical jargon is craftily avoided by blatantly refusing to explain anything. The audience doesn't care to know how or why things work anyway, so this saves time. And in a world where people can stretch their body parts to unimaginable lengths or engulf themselves in flames, who really needs an explanation?

So many ridiculous concepts and ideas surface in this film. Dr. Doom returns, this time to help the Fantastic Four catch the Silver Surfer. But his true intentions are so glaringly obvious, it's preposterous to think they would ever go along with the plan. And the government and army are the ones to instigate the reunion as well as mastermind the capture plan. Their leader, General Hager pushes the Fantastic Four around like they're less than human, reminding me of the hatred towards mutants in the X-Men franchise. Why do the humans have any power over these superheroes? And why do they continue to help even when they are imprisoned by the army? Their loyalty to the betterment of mankind is apparently far stronger than the fragile strings that hold the plot together. Jessica Alba looks like she's lost all the curves she had in the first one, and Ben's blind girlfriend Alicia looks like she did Alba's hair. The make-up for The Thing is still fantastic, as are the abundant amount of special effects and nonstop action.

The short running time of the film is probably due to all the money spent on the bells and whistles that make this film so visually stunning. However, those flourishes can't save the humdrum tone of the story or the groan-inducing one-liners that pepper the always diminishing seriousness. With the ever-so-obvious future sequel setup, the overbearing "love will save the day" theme, and the "Hot Party Girl" cast members conspicuously toward the top of the end credits cast list, this progressively cheesy franchise is looking at another empty film that will undoubtedly make way too much money at the box office.

- Mike Massie

More Recent Reviews:

Public Enemies (2009)

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)

Fifth Element, The (1997)

Moon (2009)

Public Enemy, The (1931)